covidia - by @HotGirlVideos69

<tt> COVIDIA: my time in my feelings, at the end of the world. by tiffany treadmore aka <a href="https://www.twitter.com/hotgirlvideos69">@HotGirlVideos69</a> [[begin.]]

<tt> i am in deep, [[*how so?*]] [[*what for?*]] [[*how do you mean?*]]

<tt> i find it hard, and harder to stop the waves [[*what waves?*]] [[*what do you mean?*]]

<tt>it is hard to say.... i feel... not really [[*sad*]] but more so.... i don't know. like the skin on my heels is cracked. like a hangnail that i keep catching on my blouse. i feel lost, but centered in my anxiety. [[*what do you mean?*]] [[*what happened?*]]

<tt>i am not sure how to explain. it is just the emptiness, not just of being stuck........inside...... but like, a feeling of welling up. like at any moment, i could cry. i feel..... [[*sad*]] and yet not.....sad, like that feeling late at night on a sunday before school when you feel like you didn't do enough with your weekend, and its these little anxieties.... little soft waves of worry. [[*how so?*]]

<tt>well.... the simple act of breath i am thankful for but i am alone, even with my partner. [[*is everything okay?*]] [[*can i help in some way?*]]

<tt> i’m fine, but this controlled space, it makes my legs feel warm jets of anxiety. i feel [[*hurt*]] [[*sad*]]

<tt>no, its more.....more like.... nothing outside the gnawing gnarling pangs of worry...... [[*can i help?*]] [[*want to talk?*]]

<tt>no, i am fine. i am in deep. i feel like anything i do, ... i just need to [[begin.]].. again.

<tt>nothing.... really.... it is just this captivity, which i feel guilty about.. because it is not even captivity... even thinking of it as such i feel a guilt of privilege... but then... still i do not feel...right. [[*how so?*]]